Dear Hiring Companies, It’s You
Back in June, I wrote you a breakup letter. I told you that it wasn’t you, that it was me. It’s almost a year later, and I think I need to revisit that. Because you see, it really is you, not me. This last year has shown me that you don’t hold all the cards. I’m a key player in this game, and guess what? You need me more than I need you. I figured out that without employees, you hiring companies can’t get anything done. If this last year has taught me anything, it’s that we have more power than we realized!
So, why am I breaking up with you and holding out for a better deal? Here are just a few reasons:
I tried to apply for a job via your ATS, and you wanted me to create an account with a login and password. You then asked me to attach my résumé AND fill out the same thing via tiny boxes online!! THIS. IS. INSANE. Why can’t you just make it easy for me to apply to work with your company?
Your application required dates of graduation. I kinda feel like you wanna know how old I am; that gives me bad juju.
You’re paying below market. How can I possibly excuse this behavior????
You want me to go into an office in Philadelphia 3 times a week. The rest of the team is in Dallas, but you want me in the sales office in Philadelphia 3 days per week… so I can sit in on Teams meetings all day? Hard pass.
You say you have a great culture, but that’s where it stops. You can’t provide me with specific examples of how awesome your culture is. You just say it’s great and expect me to listen to that?!
In the interview, you told me that I should “sell” you on why you should hire me. Are you daft? Have you not noticed that it’s a candidate’s market? You should sell me on why I want to work there.
You asked me dumb questions. “Why should we hire you?” “What’s your greatest weakness?” “Tell me about a time you were engaged in a conversation with someone who rapid fired inane questions at you. How did you handle it?” Could we stick to the subject, which is your business needs and my background?
You insulted me. You trash-talked my alma mater. You intimated that I couldn’t possibly understand your industry. You clearly did not look at my resume before coming to the meeting. You wasted my time.
You didn’t keep your word. You said you would get back to me in 2-3 days, but it’s been a week with no word from you. I get that you’re talking to other candidates; other suitors are also courting me. But when you make a date, you keep it.
You belittled my background and experience. You’re looking for someone who is a chocolate expert. I have 10 years of experience in chocolate products. “Yeah, but we really need an expert in milk chocolate, and your experience is in dark chocolate. I don’t see this working.” Why waste my time if you’re going to insult me and disregard my achievements?
So, after all this time, after a year of wondering if it was me who was crazy, I realized that I’m not. It’s you. And I’m done with you. I’m going to stay right here until I find something that’s good for me!