It’s not you. It’s me.

Dear Hiring Company:

We’ve been together for about two months now, and I think it’s time for me to take a break. It’s not you; it’s me. You are great, and anyone would be lucky to work for you. Your products are amazing, and the people I’ve met would probably be fantastic coworkers. And in these two months, we have been through a lot. But it’s just not working for me anymore.

Even before I met you, I was so excited at the opportunity to work with you. I remember the thrill of seeing an email from you in my inbox. Do you remember that first email? I do. I will never forget. You said that you received my application and that you would like to start a conversation with me, but first, I would need to complete a timed assessment of my cognitive abilities and personality traits. You knew that I hadn’t taken any kind of math since college, but that was okay, so I went ahead and attempted to solve the SAT-like problems with which I was presented. I know you only did this because determining the area of the circle inscribed in the square is a critical business problem you must have. 

Then, it happened. I spoke with a recruiter over the phone. She regaled me with tales about what an awesome culture you have and how you’re out to change the world. When she said that she would set up a meeting with the hiring manager, I was enthralled. I met with the hiring manager, and I was more certain than ever that this was it. You were the one. When he asked me to do a series of panel interviews, I said yes, of course. Over the following weeks, I met with another six people from your company, and we talked about the company’s core values, my leadership attributes, and my strategic insight. You even set me up with a pre-meeting so that someone could coach me on how to crush these interviews. I know I crushed it because you reached out to me again.

“This is it!” I thought. We’re finally going to be together. But it was not to be. Now you asked me to read a case study and present a solution to the team. You told me not to spend too much time preparing for it, but of course, I wanted to look my best and spent about 10 hours getting ready. I just knew that this would be what would finally win you over. I presented my case, and then I heard nothing for the next two weeks. What was it that I could have done to cause you to ignore me?

I was upset and on the rebound. I met another company, and we went on three efficient rounds of interviews. Their recruiter kept me in the loop and informed me about every step along the process. It was like they were dazzled at the prospect of being with me! They treated me so well, and I began to think that this might be what I deserve. When they presented me with an offer, I accepted.

I was contacted by your hiring manager the next day, but I didn’t return the call. I finally realized that we are just not meant to be together. We want different things. I want a company that treats me with respect and operates with agility. You want candidates who jump at your whim. Like I said at the beginning, this is not about you. It’s about me and what I want out of my next relationship. Now that I think about it, maybe this is just a little bit about you, too.