Ask Deb: What should I do when people interrupt me in meetings?

Hi Deb:

I love working remotely. I really do. But one thing I’ve noticed during the last 2 years is that there are more meetings than ever before. And with those meetings come more interruptions than I have ever experienced in my career. I have tried asking people not to interrupt me and to allow me to speak, but it continues. In fact, it’s getting worse. Do you have any tactics that are effective in stopping interruptions?

Thanks,

Alicia

Hi Alicia:

These last 2 years have completely transformed how we work and communicate with each other. The days of sitting quietly and taking notes in meetings are gone. People feel the pressure to make themselves heard and seen. However, it is exceptionally frustrating to be making your well-thought-out point only to have a colleague jump in and overtake the conversation regardless of the context in which it occurs. And, this happens to women more frequently than it does to men. 

Fortunately, there are some strategies you can employ to mitigate interruptions. The first thing you should do is evaluate the intention behind the interruption. It could be that the person interrupting is super enthusiastic about the topic at hand. It also could be that a technology glitch is causing the interruption. Of course, it could also be that your interrupting colleague is just a jerk. 

First, it’s important to call out the interruption. If you make a habit of allowing it to slide, you will lose your voice. You need to own the conversation and control it. I’ve found an effective strategy is to call it out at the moment. “I’m sorry, John, but I wasn’t done speaking. If you can hold your thought for a moment, we can get your input when I’m finished.” That way, you’re assertive while not being disrespectful. Plus, it can embarrass the offender into realizing that the person is acting boorish. For a serial interrupter, it may be better to have a side conversation. Be candid and have specific examples and point out how the interruptions make you feel. 

However, if your interrupting colleague is a clueless jerk, one of those people who always has to be the smartest person in the room at all times, or someone who just doesn’t value you or what you have to say, you might need a different approach. You could say something like, “Could you please extend me the courtesy of allowing me to finish before you chime in?” Or a simple “I’m speaking.” Another tactic that can be effective is to allow the interrupter to go on, and when he’s finished, rather than simply picking up where you left off, start all over again. Make everyone listen to what you have to say for a second time. 

The good thing is that you’re probably not the only person affected by this rude behavior. When you call your colleague out on it, succinctly or implicitly, your coworkers will be on your side.

All my best,

Deb