The Bear and the Big, Bad Boss
It’s been a little less than a month since the third season of The Bear was released on Hulu to a warm ovation. Fans of the dramedy have followed chef Carmy’s journey from grieving and overwhelmed baby brother to business owner and chef of one of Chicago’s best new restaurants. All the while, we’ve been fascinated by the flashback scenes that inform Carmy’s personality and explain his self-loathing and lack of confidence. While Carmy strives to achieve his own Michelin star, he is haunted by the memories of an unnamed abusive boss.
The boss in question is portrayed as a prominent chef and restaurateur in New York and Carmy’s employer before his return to Chicago. Through flashbacks, we see the chef treat Carmy like garbage. He emasculates him. He demeans Carmy to the point that it is creepy and vile. All the while, Carmy remains stone-faced and silent. “I get it – you have a short man’s complex. . . . Is that why you have the tattoos and your cool little scars and go out and take your smoke breaks? It’s fun, isn’t it? But here’s the thing: you’re terrible at this. You’re no good at it.” Charring his star employee with curses, he berates him for his supposed slowness and orders him to repeat, “Chef, I’m so tough.” “You are not tough,” the boss responds. “You are talentless . . .You should be dead.”
For many, it hits too close to home. Carmy, we feel your pain. Everyone has that one toxic boss or workplace from your past that you wish you could forget. In Carmy’s case, it was David Fields, the abusive chef from New York. Carmy describes him as “very probably mentally ill. Dead inside. Cold. Never turns it off. Accomplishes more by 10 a.m. than most people do in a lifetime.” In an Emmy-worthy scene, Carmy finally has the chance to tell David how he feels.
Chef David Fields is extremely toxic and is one of those bosses who believe that people must be broken down to achieve excellence. He believes that greatness is only borne out of great pain and ensures that those he mentors suffer appropriately. His narcissism leads him to believe that the ends justify the means. “My life stopped,” says an apoplectic Carmy. An unmoved Fields responds, “That’s the point. Right? . . . You wanted to be excellent. So . . . you concentrated, and you got focused, and you got great. You got excellent. It worked. You’re here. Look at all this.” However, Carmy's price for such excellence cannot be quantified. After Carmy sputters that Fields has given him “ulcers, and panic attacks, and-and nightmares,” Fields counters, “I gave you confidence and leadership and ability. It worked.”
A Harris poll survey on “toxic bosses” from 2023 defines a toxic boss as “a boss or supervisor who has exhibited any toxic behaviors (e.g., micromanagement, credit stealing, unreasonable expectations, unprofessional behavior, being unapproachable, etc.).” The study sampled 1,233 employed U.S. adults; it was found that “over two-thirds of American workers have experienced a toxic boss, and 31% currently working under one.”
The first step to managing an abusive boss is understanding that you are not the problem. Your boss is. Next, you must devise an appropriate responsive strategy. Avoidance won’t work, and it is best to address the problem directly, without complicating elaboration, and in a timely manner. Secondly, when you confront your boss, toss in a comment or a few sentences to reassure them that better behavior won’t make them seem weak in your eyes. Bullies have an abject fear of being perceived as weaklings. Bad bosses often have trigger points that set them off. Unless they’re extremely toxic, they probably also have situations and environments where they’re more at ease and less inclined to blow up when confronted with their misbehavior. Study the boss to find the best time to confront them. Remain assertive and confident.
Luckily, extremely toxic bosses like David Fields are rare and are on their way to becoming extinct as marginalized employees gain more power in the workplace. At the end of The Bear’s season 3, we are left with the question: Was it worth the abuse to become the chef he is today? I think the more consequential question is whether he can get out of his own way to be the kind of leader who breaks the centuries-old cycle of fear, intimidation, and humiliation. And that is what bad bosses teach us: what not to do, what behavior not to model, and how to conduct ourselves when we are in leadership positions.