Mind Your Own Business
A recent letter to Kwame Anthony Appiah, author of the New York Times’s newsletter, The Ethicist, brought up an interesting workplace conundrum. The writer of the letter said that his company’s summer intern told him about his illegal hobby—drag racing. The letter writer wanted to know if it was advisable to report this to human resources in advance of extending an offer of permanent employment. He stated that if the intern were to be ticketed for driving at such speed, it might be cause for termination. The Ethicist responded that because the intern confided in the letter writer in a moment of friendly collegiality, turning him over to HR would be a betrayal and that it would say more about the character of the letter writer than that of the intern.
What was not said was that the intern’s off-duty drag racing was of no concern to the letter writer. He should have minded his own business. “Mind your own business,” or MYOB, is often the best advice in many situations. Drag racing, while illegal and dangerous, probably has zero impact on the business. What would be the upside to telling HR? As an aside, I’ve never heard of someone being terminated for reckless driving or excessive speeding unless it was in a company vehicle.
While actions have consequences, when you don’t MYOB, you often involve yourself in a situation where the outcome does not impact you. Additionally, you take on their mental load if you’re constantly worried about others’ problems. MYOB demonstrates respect and authority. No one likes it when others interfere in their affairs. MYOB is a way of recognizing other people’s privacy while also protecting your own. MYOB also lets you be more efficient in the workplace because you’re not focused on what other people are doing.
A component of failing to MYOB in the workplace, one that the letter writer brings up, is fixating on things that do not matter, coupled with a desire to report those things to authority figures. A while back, I received an email asking me for advice. The author’s boss would leave the office at 2 PM once every 6 weeks or so and return to the office the next day with freshly styled hair. The person who wrote to me wanted to know if they should tell their manager’s boss that she gets her hair done on “company time.” Seriously? Your manager is a salaried professional paid for results, not time. What a ridiculous thing to worry about. MYOB, and keep in mind that no one likes a tattletale, whether on the playground or in a corporate setting. It’s a great way to trash your reputation.
The bottom line
Unless they directly impact you or the business, other people’s thoughts and actions are not your concern. Guard your mouth, keyboard, and phone. Worry about things that matter. #MYOB