Be an Ally to the Unemployed in Your Life
Unemployment can be one of the most stressful and isolating experiences a person goes through. It affects not only finances but also self-esteem, mental health, and relationships. The current job market is rough. Every day, I hear from clients who have been ghosted after multiple rounds of interviews, who have been asked to do free spec work as part of the interview process, and who have encountered an astounding lack of respect for their time and effort. Looking for a job when you are unemployed can be an exhausting, soul-sucking experience. Suppose you want to support the people in your life who are currently navigating unemployment. In that case, there are some ground rules you should follow so that you will be perceived as helpful and empathetic, rather than clueless and insensitive.
The most important thing you can do is to lend a friendly ear and NOT minimize their experiences. While well-intended, statements such as ‘Just keep trying; it’ll happen soon’ or ‘There are plenty of jobs out there’ can come across as dismissive. Statements such as these also imply that the job seeker isn’t doing enough or that finding a new job is a simple task. Don’t make comparisons to others who have found jobs quickly or suggest they should settle for “anything available.” This can undermine their career goals and make them feel inadequate.
Instead of offering quick fixes or comparisons, focus on being a supportive listener. Unemployment almost always involves factors beyond someone’s control, and what they need is understanding, not unsolicited advice. How can you be a job seeker’s ally? Read on:
Offer support without judgment. Listen to understand, not to respond with advice. Avoid pressing for details about their job search unless they bring it up themselves. Reassure them that their worth is not defined by their employment status.
Help them connect. Encourage them to tap into their professional network, as reaching out to former colleagues or mentors can lead to valuable opportunities and insights. More importantly, offer to put them in touch with people from your network. Help them expand the scope of their search.
Assist with practical needs. Offer to help in concrete ways, instead of throwing out the ambiguous “Let me know if I can be of any help.” Practice interviewing with them. Share job opportunities and contacts. Review their resume.
Respect their autonomy. Don’t take over, and don’t be offended if they don’t follow your advice to the letter. Maintain your role of providing encouragement and understanding.
The Bottom Line
Unemployment is a chapter, not a permanent state of being. Supporting someone in a job transition isn’t about having answers—it’s about being present and compassionate. Showing respect, avoiding judgment, and affirming their value builds trust and resilience. Moments of compassion often linger long after crises are resolved. Even small gestures can have an outsized impact. Being a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, or a source of stability can be of enormous, immeasurable importance to someone struggling in their job search. The journey can be challenging, but it is more tolerable when they don’t walk it alone.