Do I have to use my old boss as a reference?

Dear Deb:

I have a question about references. Do they have to be from a previous manager? I’m concerned because my last boss was kind of. . . odd. Sometimes he would be really friendly and jovial, and tell everyone how great they were doing. Other times he would be verbally abusive and tell us all how we were ruining his career. Turnover in our department was high, and whenever someone left, he flew into a rage and saw it as a personal affront. (To be fair, it was a personal decision for most people, because they couldn’t work for him.)

When I resigned, he yelled at me, and told me that he would see to it that I never worked in the industry again. I mentioned this in my exit interview with HR, but they seemed nonplussed. Anyway, I now have an offer for a great job in the industry, but it’s contingent upon a successful background check. They want references too. Do I have to give them this boss as a reference?

Thanks,

Julia

Hi Julia:

No, you are not required to give your old boss a reference, but that doesn’t mean that your prospective employer won’t try to talk to him. The truth is that much of the reference checking that goes on does so behind the scenes. And with the advent of LinkedIn, it is really easy to see how you are connected to someone.

That said, I think it best that you do NOT give this guy as a reference. You could give peers, customers, vendors, even the boss’s boss. Assuming all of those other references check out fine, even if the old boss gives you a less than stellar reference, most reasonable people will see that for what it is. And fortunately, most people are reasonable. And if he goes on a rant and talks about how you were the worst employee ever, and how you ruined his career, and how you should be banned from the industry? Well, then there will be no doubt in anyone’s mind who the problem really is.

All my best,

Deb