Ask Deb: Must I Attend the Team Building Event?
Hi Deb:
I have a new manager who is very young and athletic, into triathlons and CrossFit. That’s fine; I don’t care what he does during downtime. The problem is that he schedules these quarterly “team building” retreats that center on physical activity. I have declined to attend his last two offsites for two reasons. First, our team is understaffed, and I have too much work to do. If I take three days away from it, I’m going to enjoy my time, and I most definitely won’t be spending these days with my coworkers. The second reason is that I had a knee replacement last year, and I’m still doing physical therapy. My surgeon has impressed upon me the real risks I will face should I damage the prosthesis.
Each month, when we have our catch-up meeting, my manager tells me I need to work on my soft skills, such as collaboration and partnership. He also alludes that I don’t go to offsite team-building activities, such as his outings in the woods, happy hours, or trivia. I’ve been in the workforce for 15 years, and this is the first time I’ve heard that I am not a team player. I think it’s bogus feedback, and he’s just annoyed that I’m not attending his events. I am concerned about how this is going to affect my performance review. What do you suggest?
Thanks,
Jane
Hi Jane:
Everyone hates team-building exercises. They are universally reviled by people at all levels of the organization. Who wants to spend three days with coworkers while not doing any actual work? Team-building exercises are pointless because they suggest that if your team members spent more time doing silly things and solving group problems together, climbing trees, and rolling around on the floor, they would work more effectively together the rest of the time. There is absolutely zero research that supports this belief. Employees work to get a job done and, more importantly, to get paid, not to play inane games with coworkers.
Your manager should not require the team to go on these physically challenging outings. They have no impact on team performance and are a waste of time. However, it sounds like your manager is committed to “extracurricular” team-building. You need to come to a compromise, and you need to have a discussion with him. Suggest that he would get better engagement if these activities were brief, non-physical, and held during regular work hours.
As for the more significant issue regarding your boss’s suggestion that you aren’t a team player, it’s important to address this directly. Stand your ground and clarify your position. You may also want to mention that due to your new knee, you’re physically unable to participate in certain activities. Your physical limitations have zero impact on your job, which is what he should focus on. I suspect that he will back down once you have a candid conversation with him. After this discussion, return to your computer and email him a recap of what you discussed. Document everything related to this.
You may want to consider speaking with your HR representative if your conversation with him doesn’t go well. This is why it’s important to document everything. I don’t usually recommend this, but it may be the best course of action here. Additionally, HR’s role is to mitigate the company’s liability, and I would imagine they wouldn’t be supportive of activities that could lead to injury, workers' compensation claims, or even potential litigation
All My Best,
Deb
Click here to read a horror story about a corporate retreat gone wrong.