Conflict Between Work Events and Family Events

Dear Deb:

I am required to attend an annual corporate golf trip.  All of the management team will be there, including many from home office and our top clients from the pharm side of business (my clients).   It’s basically a time to really connect on a deeper, more personal level with clients.  The only problem is that it’s the same weekend as my wife’s sister’s engagement party.  I already get a lot of “feedback” from my in-laws about the hours I work and the business entertaining that is part of my job.  It’s my career and I feel strongly that I need to choose the business trip. (Even though it is golf – it’s business)  How do I navigate this situation without the wrath of my in-laws?

Thanks,

Ben

Dear Ben, 

The timing is unfortunate.   It sounds like you need to be at the corporate event.  Talk to your wife and your sister-in-law. Let them know that this trip is a job requirement and that it would be detrimental to your career not to attend this annual client trip. Offer to provide a flower arrangement for the engagement party in addition to an engagement gift.  Confirm that you will be there for the wedding.   Get that wedding date on your work calendar and do whatever it takes to be sure that you are not working that weekend!  There would be no suitable excuse to miss your sister-in-law’s wedding.

If the subject of work-home balance is recurring, perhaps it’s time to talk with your wife and commit to some positive changes.  Find ways to spend more time with your wife and provide more support at home.  It’s great to be successful at work, but there is nothing more fulfilling than a loving partner and family.

All the best,

Deb