Careers Done Write Workshop on the Go: Soft Skills Part IV: Communication

This month we have been discussing soft skills.  We were prompted by Millennial Branding’s survey of 225 employers using Experience Inc.’s data pool of over 100,000 U.S. companies.  Of the employers surveyed, 98% said that adaptability is one of the top five skills they are seeking in new employees. Yet, 91% of this same group of employers shared that candidates with strong communication are difficult to find.  You can’t get a window of opportunity much bigger than this!   Improve your communication skills. It appears to be a seller’s market for the candidate with exceptional communication skills.

There are multiple types of communication, such as written communication, public speaking, and one-on-one communication.  Today we will review the basics of one-on-one verbal communication.

Body Language

Maintain an open and relaxed posture.  If seated, lean slightly forward.  Maintain eye contact.

Stand with hands clasped in front of you or by your side. Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting. Never point your fingers at someone or invade someone’s personal space.

Active Listening

Active listening is not the same as hearing. Focus intently on the speaker and make mental notes of important aspects of the message. Nod your head periodically to indicate you are receiving the message.

Don’t think about what you are going to say next.  Ask genuine and intelligent questions that elucidate the speaker’s concern or agenda.

Be Clear and Concise

Do you have a knack of making a short story, long?  If so, you may lose your listener along the way. Be concise. Clarity is equally important. Check for eye contact and ask questions to ensure that your listener understands. 

Dealing with Someone’s Anger

Don't take another person's anger personally. You can’t control another person's behavior. Remain calm and take a moment to mentally collect yourself. You may need to let the other person vent to get the feelings out of the way before the two of you can enter a problem-solving conversation. You can use language such as, "Tell me more about your concern" or "I understand your frustration" to open up the conversation.

Don’t Solve the Problem, Yet

Sometimes people just want to be heard.  They are not looking for you to jump in and offer suggestions.  Be aware of when someone is venting and when someone is actually asking for your opinion or help.  How will you know the difference?  It’s simple.  Say, “What can I do to help?”  They will let you know.  If they do ask for help and you don’t know the answer, don’t fake it.  It is better to say you don’t know, but you will find out.

Understanding

If you do not understand what someone has said, repeat back to him or her what you think they said and ask if that is correct. The speaker will share more details the second time and you can gain a deeper understanding of their needs or issues.

It’s About the Other Person

One barrier to effective communication (and relationships) is to talk excessively about one’s self.  A co-worker is telling you about the worst client call ever and you jump in and say, “I can top that one!”  Bragging falls in this category too.  We all know that person who never misses an opportunity to compliment himself.  It’s no coincidence that co-workers and clients avoid this person. Focus on the other person to build a relationship.  Don’t worry.  You will have your turn.

Follow-Up

Follow-up is important because it fosters future communication, loyalty, and confidence.  Making a quick follow-up call, sending a follow-up email after an issue has been resolved, or confirming future action plans only takes a few minutes and is a relationship-building move.

Ongoing Communication

Keep communication lines open to those who may need to address problems with you. You can help prevent small concerns from growing into big issues.  It also gives you the opportunity to spot opportunities.  Remaining available for communication also helps to build strong relationships.

Communication skills take years to develop.  Don’t be discouraged. You can make vast improvements in your one-on-one communication skills with a little effort.  Follow the tips above and don’t be surprised if you find your productivity soars, your relationships become stronger, and you are able to deftly handle a few conflicts. 

Would you like to read more on this topic? The following are books on the topic of communication skills:

Messages: The Communication Skills Book

Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Mastering Communication at Work: How to Lead, Manage, and Influence