Ask Deb: Help! I hate my new job!

Dear Deb:

I recently started a new job within my industry. I was so excited by the opportunity and I left a job I liked to pursue it. I am sad to say that, 6 weeks in, I have come to realize that this was a colossal mistake. I absolutely hate it. The culture is toxic, my manager is an extreme micromanager, and the job itself is nothing like what I was led to believe. The executive leadership is abysmal, and is focused on maintaining the status quo rather than fixing any part of this broken system. I feel like there is no way that I can possibly succeed in this role. 

I was so excited about this new job, and I conveyed that excitement to my friends and family, all of whom were overjoyed for me. I thought I would finally have the opportunity to make a real impact to the organization, and instead all I have is a stomach that is in knots and a sense of dread. I spoke with the recruiter who placed me here, and she says that I need to give it at least 3-6 months before I make any decision about leaving. I honestly don’t know if I can do another 3-6 months in this role. I don’t want to look like a quitter, but at the same time, I am certain that this role is not going to work for me. 

Can you give me some non-biased advice?

Thanks,

Janelle

Hi Janelle:

Thanks for writing. Sadly, this is not an uncommon occurrence. People leave a job that they like in the hope that the new role will be better and more closely align with their career goals only to quickly realize that they’ve made a terrible mistake. Here is what I infer from what you’ve written. Your new company (or at least the division in which you work) is highly dysfunctional. Management is terrible. There is little, if any, accountability. 

You know that this is not going to work. You need to start a job search post haste and find something that is going to work for you. The first thing to do is to come up with a list of deal breakers. These are things that are positively intolerable to you. Write them down and commit to them. This is an agreement that you make with yourself. In your case, I would assume that micromanagement is a dealbreaker. When you’re interviewing for future roles, be sure to ask to speak with other people on the team and ask probing questions about the hiring manager’s management style. Second, you should target companies that have reputations for being employers of choice. This is something that companies take very seriously and regard as a strategic imperative. There is much less chance of rampant toxicity at companies like these. Lastly, when you are interviewing, you need to get the “grapevine” perspective. Go to LinkedIn and find people who previously worked at the company, preferably in the business unit for which you are interviewing. Ask them if they are willing to have a candid conversation about what it is like to work there. A client who did just this received the feedback that “While the pay is good, you earn every nickel in blood.” He was able to dodge a bullet.

You absolutely do not need to give this role a 3-6 month “chance.” The recruiter who placed you has a vested interest in having you stay for that timeframe because they probably aren’t going to be paid their fee before the first 90 days of your employment. So, consider the source of this advice. 

All my best,

Deb