Cover Letter Help: Does Your Viral Letter Need an Antedote?

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By now, you have seen this viral cover letter.  Whatever you may think of the bold style and content of this letter, you have to admit, it is a hit on many websites and newscasts. I recently read on BusinessInsider.com that this job candidate is enjoying a huge response to the letter. Some Wall Street managers are impressed and offering interviews. 

What do I think?  Let’s dissect this letter and find out. 

 

Pros: 

• Kudos for honesty, humor, and candor.  It seems that is what readers are finding so appealing. 

• Capitalizing on a personal interaction.  A great way to get your foot in the door is to reference where you have met the contact or to mention a common acquaintance. 

• Professional cover letter format. Great job there!

Cons:

• Humor is great, but I would recommend omitting slang, such as “crapp.”  Some readers may be turned off with that word in a professional letter or email.  

• The letter is full of sentences beginning with and including “I.”   A variety in language would elevate the writing and also seem less self-aggrandizing.  If the candidate rewrites the cover letter with fewer incidences of “I” and “my,” it would allow the candidate to focus on the needs of the employer. Even an intern can add value. 

• Avoid spelling and grammar errors.  (east coast vs. East Coast) and (Masters of Sciences vs. Master’s of Science). If you really want the position, you will take the time to proofread. 

• Four times in the letter, the candidate tells us how he falls short and only twice does he mention why is a good candidate (past intern experience and willingness to work hard).  The downplaying of his merits can be seen as brutally honest, even refreshing, but perhaps one such statement would do the trick. 

• Little words that undermine confidence.  Several times the candidate qualifies or dilutes a statement unnecessarily.  Examples include “possible” before “summer internship,” “might make an exception” instead of “would make an exception,”  “waiting admission results…if admitted,” or the phrase, “for whatever that is worth” following the one relevant course of study.

The Bottom Line:

If this candidate had written a perfect cover letter to accompany his résumé demonstrating a degree from a sub-par college and little relevant academic work, it would not have spread on the Web like wildfire.  We would not be discussing it today.  So, hats-off to the candidate for making a splash!  Maybe this candidate should consider a career on Madison Avenue.  He could be the next Don Draper.