Avoid these Resume Mistakes

As a globally recognized expert in the area of résumé writing and career coaching, I have had the opportunity to see some of the most hilarious and outrageous mistakes on résumés and cover letters over the years.

While these bloopers provide good fun, having undetected mistakes on a résumé is a very serious matter.  If you are concerned that your résumé may have hidden errors that could cost you the interview, now is the time to enlist the help of a trained Certified Professional Résumé Writer (CPRW).  There is no telling what is on your résumé that could be costing you interviews. 

OK, so now for the good part:

1. “I was fired from my last job because I was never on time. Now I am planning on working closer to home.”

Sure, join our team because we seek out those that are lazy and dedicated to mediocrity. 

2. “One of my hobbies is jumping out of birthday cakes.”

Great, I hope your application is for a position at Hooters.

3. “My résumé is the bet résumé you will ever see.”

Let’s not bet on that.

4. “I can type 875 wpm.”

Wow! I would really like to see that myself. 

5. “I can thype really, really fast.”

Really? Well, not without making a really, really big mistake.

6. “I am good when working with others because I ignore everything.”

I don’t even know what to say to this!

7. “Special Skills include focused, decimated, and diligent.”

Yes, you just decimated dedicated.

8. “Seeking a position where I don’t have to interact with any other people.”

Perfect. I have the right position for you…a cemetery.

9. “Helpless when providing administrateive support.”

That’s a double there!

10. “I am people-focused and detail orientated.”

As opposed to sociopathic and careless.

You just can’t make this stuff up! Good for a laugh – but realistically, you need to take your job search way more seriously than this.  Your résumé is your brand.  It represents you.  Anything less than perfection and you are selling yourself short.