Ask Deb: How to Handle a Rude (and Bizarre) Interviewer

Hi Deb:

I need some advice about a situation that recently occurred. I’ve been interviewing here and there but not actively looking. A few weeks ago, a recruiter contacted me about a role with a company that is regarded as a leader in my industry. I responded and met with the recruiter, the hiring manager, and two people on the team. They were all great, and I was psyched to learn more, so when the recruiter asked me to do a video interview with another stakeholder, I said sure. This person would be the internal client for the role for which I was interviewing. 

To say this was a weird experience is to make a gross understatement. This guy arrived for the meeting 15 minutes late, proceeded to insult me, ask me irrelevant questions, and make me very uncomfortable. The first thing he asked me was where I lived. I said that I live in New England (the company’s headquarters are in Georgia), and his question was, “So if you get this job, are you going to move?” I was taken aback since all of my discussions were about a remote position until this point. When I said as much, he responded, with a snicker, “Well, that’s not going to work.” Excuse me? I asked him to explain, and he said he likes to work with a team that he can sit in the same room with. Then he inquired about my M.S. degree by asking me if it was “like a master’s.” I said yes, it’s like a master’s in that it is a master’s. Finally, he asked a few questions about my current company, scoffed at the answers, announced that he had a “hard stop,” and left the meeting.

I was and still am stunned. I don’t know how I could have handled this differently. When the recruiter reached out, I told him about this experience, and he apologized. I also told him that I would not be able to work with this person and that if he was going to be the internal client for the role, I wanted to withdraw my candidacy. Is there anything else I could have done?

Thanks,

Marcus

Hi Marcus:

Thanks for sharing your story. That is bizarre at best and unprofessional at worst. What was this guy thinking? Any job interview is a 2-sided endeavor. By that, I mean that candidates are interviewing employers just as companies vet prospective employees. It is good that you found this out now, and not after you joined the company. It is a good thing that the recruiter set you up with this guy so that you could see what a jerk he was. The issue is not merely that this person is a jerk; it’s also that the company and its management allow his candidate-repelling behavior. And if he’s repelling candidates, you can be assured that he’s awful to work with. 

What could you have done? Nothing different from what you did. You handled the situation perfectly and withdrew yourself from consideration. There is no point in being overly candid with the recruiter and/or the hiring manager. Chances are that they know EXACTLY how problematic this other manager is, and if they don’t think he’s inappropriate, that’s a problem unto itself.

Kudos to you for withdrawing and deselecting them. Even though this is a candidate’s market, everyone must understand that hiring is a mutual decision and is not wholly dependent upon the employer. I hope they realize what a liability this jerk is, but they probably won’t. I’m glad you made this decision.

All my best,

Deb